My Weighty Story: 4 months and counting

So it has been 4 months.

4 months since I changed my life forever. Let me tell you, it is harder than I thought it would be (and that is saying something folks). It’s not just the physical, but also the mental. Do I regret it?

HELL NO!

Food continues to be a challenge. I’m trying to find more interesting things to eat, but it’s boring, and then when it’s not, the scale slows. It is a really hard balance and I fight it each and every day. This doesn’t even get into the issue of grieving for food. Cheeseburgers were my all time favorite pre-surgery. I get sad at the fact I can’t just stuff a huge cheeseburger in my mouth and moan in the ecstasy of fat, grease, cheese, beef, onion rings, and bread. Yes, the “Don’t bother me I’m eating” commercials of Carl’s Jr. come to mind.

However, I can’t stress enough how much of a difference getting my protein in for the day makes me feel. I’ve really been working very hard at making sure I hit that 60+ grams of protein in day. I feel the difference at the end of the day when I don’t and the next morning is much harder to get moving.

The hair loss struggle is real. My husband says it isn’t as bad as I think it is, but he isn’t the one brushing his hair and seeing huge amounts in the brush, or washing it in the shower and massive strings being tangled up in his fingers. I won’t even lie that have cried about this a few times. There just really isn’t much we can do about it though. I stand by my belief that I will be bald for a year if it means getting healthy. Few more months, and it will grow back. It’s only hair. There are bigger things going on here.

The good news is that scale is moving (again) after a long stall. I think that is due to resetting what I was eating, and upping my exercise. I’m swimming now on top of the walking / running that I’ve been doing. To be fair, it’s more walking that running as it really has been aggravating my back.

I know there is a lot of bitching so let me tell you some things that are all positives:

  1. The scale did start moving again.
  2. I do not recognize myself in the mirror anymore. (There is a total disconnect between who I feel I am and who looks back at me in the mirror.)
  3. I can buy clothes in the regular part of the store. ( THIS IS HUGE YA’LL)
  4. My Dr. said I am no longer MORBIDLY OBESE! Again. This is HUGE.
  5. I am seeing changes in my body. Yes. This includes loose skin, which I didn’t think would bother me so much. It just feels weird, like a sweater I can’t take off that is way too big.
  6. I can just do more. I had a real hectic couple weeks at work, which included overtime, plus I was still getting up extra early to work out every day, and a year ago, I would not have been able to do that. I just have more energy.
  7. I can walk farther without having to stop to catch my breath, or just feel tired. This ties into #6, but it’s such a huge milestone that I have to mention it.
  8. Tying into #6 and #7, I was able to vacuum the house and I didn’t fall apart. Yea, this needs explanation. I have problems with my back and vacuuming the house would set it off in the worst way. A couple years ago, I vacuumed and my back went out so bad I spent 2 days with my head in a trashcan and a family debating whether they should take me to the ER. In hindsight, maybe they should have but not the point. Since then I haven’t been doing things like vacuuming the house to prevent that very thing. IT seems silly, I know, but from a health standpoint, it’s a pretty bid deal.
  9. I bought a PRETTY BRA. Yes. This gets added to the list because when you are fat, you get support. It’s all about support vs the fashion, because well SUPPORT.
  10. I see actual, real, muscles developing.

The other day a friend and I went to Kohls to get me some new bras, because weight loss = smaller boobs. Fact of life.  While we were there, we were looking through the clearance clothes, and I found a shirt that I really liked but it was too big. My friend started crying and freaking out over how I said that it was too big and I just looked at her like she was crazy. I couldn’t figure it out until it hit me.

We were standing in the NORMAL clothes section, and I just said that something was TOO BIG!

TOO BIG! Yes. We squealed and laughed and cried, and my daughter heard us from across the store.

I have officially gone from a 24/26 pant since my highest ( 22 at surgery) to a 14/16 and a 3X shirt to a comfortable XL. 4 months after surgery.

Case and Point:

I had a huge moment last week when I realized just how far I have come. I stared at the below and couldn’t even reconsile myself to that person. I have heard of people doing this, but this picture was taken during a time when I was not weighing myself. I was also super unhappy and there were a lot of things going on in my life at the time, and I coped with it by literally eating my feelings. I am sure that I was over 300 at this point, but I don’t know for sure. My highest recorded weight was 289, but I had been working on working out a little, by that point.

img_5703

This is today.

img_5720

You have to put the work in. You have to know this is a huge change in how life is.

It is worth every ounce of pain, sweat and tears.

*raises glass of water* Cheers!

My Weighty Story: Progress

So it’s been two weeks since things were rightly back on track. Yes, things are still very busy for me, and this will be a very short post, but I wanted to share something with you.

IMG_2068

Yup… that says I’m down 2.5 pounds since I weighed in. The thing that makes this THAT much more AWESOME … I just weighed in on Monday! I had forgotten to weigh in last Friday, so I weighed in Monday this week.

You can also see that I have gained a bunch of the weight back that I had lost. I was up to 70 pounds lost, but I found a few of those pounds. It’s all good, I just have to get back on track and move it!

However, I am cringing a bit at MyFitnessPal’s English on the second line.

“kimringer’s lost 56.5 lbs so far.”

Shouldn’t it be “Kimringer lost 56.5 lbs so far.”  or “Kimringer has lost 56.5 lbs so far.” ?

Oh my dear… the more I look at it, the more I cringe.

The fact it says that I lost weight almost makes up for it’s grammatical issues. (I am not going to say my grammar is wonderful. I make TONS of mistakes. This is just me throwing stones in a glass house.)

Anyways, WOO WOO! 2.4 POUNDS THIS WEEK!

Gotta run… literally. See you as soon as I can.

My Weighty Story: Interesting Turn of Events

As you know, I’ve been struggling a bit. Life has been a bit busy, and I’ll be the very first to admit that I have NOT been eating like I should.

No, there have been no BAGS of candy corn again, but that doesn’t mean that I’ve been eating healthy either. November was filled with fast food, running from here to there, doing this, doing that, taking care of Mom after her surgery, etc.

When I was staying at Mom’s, days were not judged in terms of day and light. Days were on a 24 hour clock with an alarm set for every 3 to 4 hours for pain management around the clock. There were notes and notes of when people were coming and going ( Nurses, two different physical therapist, and friends check in on her, which was wonderful and heart warming to see just how loved she is). Let me say, I will do it again ( and will come the Spring / Summer when she has the other knee done) in a heart beat because she is my Mommy, and this is just what daughters do, but … OY! there were things I didn’t expect.

1. Just how tired I would be.

Seriously, I knew my sleep would be ragged, and everything, but we weren’t going anywhere, there was no reason why I couldn’t just go back to bed until the next alarm went off. Which I did. However, my body was just exhausted.

2. Tied in with number 1. Just how stressful it is.

I really hadn’t given it much thought. Mom needs the help, I could work it out with work to take the time off, and so I did. But, looking back, it was stressful. She’s my Mommy, and even though I knew she was fine, surgery went wonderfully, and she was a GREAT patient ( She really was. Even though she hurt, she knew this was going to get better and really did keep a good positive demeanor about her. ), I still stressed out over it, and that stress snuck up and bit me in the butt!

3. Probably the hardest one because I REALLY didn’t see it coming… was how HOMESICK I GOT!

You read that right. I never expected to get that homesick. I only live 25 minutes away from my Mom’s house. 25 minutes. That’s it. Hop, Skip and a Jump. Literally, over the river and through the woods to Grandma-ma’s house we go. HOWEVER, the homesickness came crashing down on me like a dam breaking. I can’t explain it. After, what Mom 4 days? Yup… 4 days,  I missed my family so much! Luckily, my brother lives just a town over ( which is like 10, maybe 15 minutes from Mom’s house), and so I sent him a text bawling my eyes out basically BEGGING him to come over and hang out with Mom for a few hours the next night when he got off work so I could go home and see the family for a couple hours. Luckily, he wasn’t working the night shift and gladly came over to give me a break.

The following night I went home and got a fix. Well, I also brought Prince Wall-E Magnifico Puppino back with me, and the next day went back and brought the Daughter Unit back for a night. Then it was Thanksgiving and we all headed back up to my house for our yearly enchilada’s. Having the time to hang out with the family helped so much. Mom was so patient and understanding. I can’t thank her enough for her understanding of my homesickness. Of all things I had tried to anticipate, that was not something that I thought would be a problem at all.

Why do I mention all of this, because it might also explain why I just ate whatever was in the house, and what I wanted. Yes, there was candy involved, but there was also some fast food, pizza, and overall junk food. I didn’t eat well. I didn’t eat 3 meals a day, I snacked my way through two weeks.

Eating wasn’t really any better once I went back home and back to work either. There was candy left over and fast food to eat.

Then come December 1st, as I stood looking in the mirror getting ready for work that morning, I saw someone who had given up and not made her health a priority. I wish I could say that it was just November, but all you have to do is look back at the last few months ( or this year ) of posts to see that even though I’ve “tried”, there are no signs of me really putting it high on the priority list. I knew this had to change.

Then my doctor’s office called reminding me I had an appointment that week ( I forget what day it was ). Which was good, because I was feeling better depression wise, and I was finally catching up on sleep and feeling “normal” again. (Whatever NORMAL feels like) I went in and  … what an interesting turn of events.

I stepped on the scale and it seemed lower than what I had remembered, but figured I remembered WRONG and when we got into the room I asked what it was last time I was there, just a month ago. When she told me, I did the math .. and my jaw hit the floor.

HOW … How did I LOSE 8 pounds?!

You read that right too. I LOST 8 POUNDS in November. Not that I’d like to lose 8 pounds from stress every month, but I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth either.

So I’ve taken that as a jumping off point. I’m on the road again, and “The Devil” ( for those who don’t know, that is what I call my elliptical at home ) and I have gotten reacquainted again. I’m trying to eat better, and when I do have to do fast food, I try to make better choices than just the burger and maybe the French fries or onion rings. While I didn’t drink the soda and opted for either iced tea or lemonade, I had gone back to ordering French fries or onion rings. Which I really hadn’t done in a VERY long time.

Yes, it’s the holidays. Yes, there are temptations everywhere. Yes, there are meals that call for gluttony, but I am not going to let this stop me. I have to make my health one of my highest priorities again. I lost 70 pounds before, and even though I’ve gained some of that back, I can do it again.

AND WILL!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

(No matter what you celebrate.)

My Weighty Story: Brick Walls and Slaps in the Face

Well … Ahhh Hello.

Ya. It’s been awhile I know. I did give up the bags of candy as promised last month, I’ve been working on getting my arse up off the couch, and I’ve been… actually doing much better.

I went back to the doctor again on Thursday last week (WOW. It’s been a week already) and two things happened.

First the Good News. My new medications are working. My thyroid is starting to behave, he likes the balance of the other medications he has me on and he told me to start taking another one that I’ve been on before for my weight loss.

Which is where the Bad News comes in. When I stepped on the scale I weighed in at 250 pounds.

Oh Boy is right. When I saw that I let out a big long breath. I was numb. I don’t remember feeling anything. I don’t know if I was disappointed because I had gained 30 pounds back, or relieved it wasn’t higher.

Yes, it is of my own doing. When I fell into the darkness for those couple of months, I ate what I wanted (bags of candy corn included) and I didn’t get off the couch or out from in front of the computer much at all.

Now, earlier this week other changes in our family occurred, and as part of the “deal” made, family wide modifications are being implemented.

1. Everyone in the house is to spend a minimum of 10 minutes (unless you can do more) on “The Devil” at least 5 times a week,

2. Everyone in the house is to go on a minimum of three 1 mile walks during the week,

3. There will be major food changes in the house,

and

4. On Saturday or Sunday we will be going on family hikes. Wall-E included.

We have all made this pact and I can’t be happier.

I’ve lost all my “marathon” fitness and it’s really sad. These changes are just phase 1. When these distances and times are easily met, we will increase the amounts. I WILL have a healthy family.

I want my family healthy and I am terrified my daughter will end up like me. I do not want that.

Now that I’m feeling better… BRING ON THE HEALTH!

My Weighty Story: Answers

So I went back to the doctor yesterday and was given answers to things that were going wrong. And there were so many things going wrong.

I stepped on the scale and just shook my head. I had gained 27 pounds back. It’s sad. It’s also of my own doing I thought to myself. The last couple of months I haven’t been concentrating on my weight loss journey. I’ve eaten pretty much what I want (including a whole 2.5 pound of candy corn in one week. Yes. I ate the whole damn bag. It was soo yummy!) and walking just wasn’t high on the priority list. Sure, “the Devil” and I had had a few rounds of fun, but it wasn’t anything serious.

I knew why. I’ve been fighting my own depression. DUH! Which was why I was back at the doctor. I was following up on some blood work and to see how I was doing.

So I went in, talked to the nurse, told her I was feeling much better. I was happier, but I was still fighting being tired all the time. Yes, I know that part of that is my diet and the fact I’m not exercising like I should, but it’s more than that. It’s like I can’t get enough sleep. I’ll sleep 8-10 hours but still wake up exhausted and never really wake up all day. She made notes, and then said the doc would be in in just a few minutes.

There I sat. /insert jeopardy music

Doc comes in we go over a few things then starts asking me a bunch of questions.

When do you take your meds? With breakfast every morning.

Any side effects to the new prescription? A little nausea when I forget to eat something with it. As long as I eat, I’m alright.

And so on, and So on. Then he looks at my blood work results.

Feeling tired? YES!

Lethargic? YES!

Doc: Hum… I see you gained 10 pounds since you were here 3 weeks ago .

Me: I gulped. “That’s crazy!” I say quietly a little shocked.  Again. My own fault.

Doc: Well I have an answer to WHY.

Me: Well I haven’t been eating right at ALL and exercise hasn’t exactly been high on my list.

Doc: Well your thyroid is completely out of whack.

Me: Really?

Doc: Yup. I like to have the figure down around a 1 or 2 with people with hypothyroidism. Yours is at a 8.4. That would account for at least some of the weight gain and why you’ve felt so tired lately.

Me: And it would also affect why I wasn’t able to fight off the depression myself.

Doc: Most Definitely. It is a very common link between the two conditions.

Then we proceeded to come up with a plan, medication changes, etc.

Yes, some of the weight problems are of my own doing and now that we are messing with the medications and I’m feeling better, I know that I can get back on track.

So I hereby declare:

No more bags of candy corn and M&M’s.

No more fast food. (been relying on it too much lately.)

More exercise.

Regular walks.

Healthier food choices.

Getting back on track. Period.

Logging my food in My Fitness Pal.

Wearing my Fitbit every day.

Walking a minimum of 8,000 steps per day.

It is time to get back to business. In a very serious way. My clothes were feeling way too small and I knew it was bad, but DAMN! I didn’t realize I had gained that much weight back. YES! It’s totally my own fault. Was my thyroid part of it, sure, but all the bad choices I had made certainly didn’t help it at all. It just made matters worse.

The Get Healthy Project has been renewed (again)!

 

 

My Weighty Story: ROAD TRIP!

When the fat get going, the fat get jigglely with it.

 

So. Move those buns hun!

 Sorry. I have no idea where those came from, they popped into my head and now they won’t leave.

Anyways, since the Wharf to Wharf a little over a week ago, I’ve been so energized and conscious about what I’ve been putting in my mouth. I think it helped me re-energize my Get Healthy Project. I’ve walked every day as much as I can ( since I have a blister the size of South America healing on the bottom of my foot. It is seriously the strangest thing in the world to feel a hole in the ball of your foot. ), and eating for the most part as well as I can.

The daughter unit and I took a road trip down to Los Angeles to see my Grandfather and we did stop by the Griffith Observatory. We are a bit of a science geeky family and well, I remember going there as a kid and figured I would take her before we headed to Pa’s (my grandfather).

20140805-124535-45935619.jpg

 

I would like to say that Griffith still acknowledges that Pluto is a Planet, and not just a dwarf planet.

So THERE! Yes, that is the daughter unit, photobombing the picture.
So THERE! Yes, that is the daughter unit, photobombing the picture.

 

As part of the exhibit they have these scales that you can stand on to see how much you weigh on each relative planet. Totally cool right?!

Well let it be said that Neptune is my FAVORITE planet. It is not given the credit that it is due.

Yes, Neptune has rings. That isn’t just Saturn’s THANG!

Anyways, I digress. So I got on the scale for Neptune.

20140805-124535-45935069.jpg

Neptune! Didn’t you just hear me singing your praises and how you are my FAVORITE?! Why do you have to make me weigh so much! (Ok yes, there is that whole gravity thing.)

I’m moving to Mercury for a bit.

20140805-124534-45934736.jpg

 

Oh yea, and while we didn’t get to see a show in here, I loved how the lights created a heart around Leonard Nimoy’s name. I mean it’s LEONARD. FREAKING. NIMOY!

20140805-125938-46778131.jpg

 

Ok. Enough geeking out.  Though while there I did get about 8,000 steps in. Not bad for acting like a kid in a candy store huh.

Now the question of course is how did I fare food wise on this road trip?

Well I did splurge on one thing that I have been craving for over a month now.

McDonalds French Fries.

 

Yup those unhealthy things right there.

I don’t know what it is, but they are the tastiest things EVER! Well, ok not really. All I know is that they felt like they were worth every little calorie I consumed. It was the only drive thru food we ate.

Otherwise, I wasn’t “horrible” for my meals. I got a lower calorie burger when we went to eat on Friday night, and while the Mexican food we had on Saturday night was no doubt high in salt ( I don’t know for sure, but I’m assuming it was ), I skipped the sour cream, all but one of the chips, and only had a couple small bits of the refried beans. Small victories I know. The food control freaks are probably screaming that this was a horrible weekend for food.

I’m actually very proud of myself because usually when I go on a road trip I find it so crazy difficult to “get back on track”, however, this time, I have not. I’m right back to what I was doing last week.

That’s a healthy breakfast, a reasonable lunch and a reasonable dinner.

My splurge this morning was a Chai Latte at Starbucks, which the calories come from the milk, and it’s non-fat at that. I know I know. I can hear you all saying, “But Kim thought you shouldn’t have dairy.” You are right, hence why I’m calling it my SPLURGE. I needed some coffee and since I was running late this morning, I didn’t make my chai tea before I left and I needed caffeine!!!!

I know this is just a bunch of ramblings about food, and I apologize for that.

So what do you do to recharge yourself when you need to get back on tract?

 

My Weighty Story: The Wharf to Wharf Race 2014

I made it! Sunday was the Wharf to Wharf.

W2W

I was scared. I was worried. I had been so sick last week and hardly moved from the couch to do much more than just go to work and sleep.  I was really worried that my body hadn’t recovered enough to do this.

The alarm went off at 5:30 and after getting the daughter unit out of bed (no small feat in itself) we started getting ready. While getting dressed I heard the pitter patter of RAIN outside! WOO WOO! I won’t have to worry about overheating. I have a serious problem with having to stop because I overheat, and not necessarily because my body tires out. It’s a real pain in the butt! Well, after checking the radar, what water was falling from the sky was really all we were going to get. Ok, back to Plan A. Hoping for people standing out with hoses so that we can cool off.

Finally we were dressed and waiting for the husband unit’s family to come and for his uncle to drop us off at Santa Cruz Wharf. His uncle (due to health issues) wasn’t taking part in the race, so he was kind enough to chauffeur us. We were going to walk from the Santa Cruz Wharf to Capitola Wharf, then back up the 3/4 miles up the hill to the house. It’s really an awesome deal.

The Daughter Unit and I
The Daughter Unit and I

When we got there, it wasn’t very crowded yet, which was really nice. The down side was it was a whole lotta hurry up and wait … for the next hour and a half!

The Husband Unit and I waiting for the race to start.
The Husband Unit and I waiting for the race to start.

 

My Mother in Law, Husband Unit's Aunt and the Daughter Unit.
My Mother in Law, Husband Unit’s Aunt and the Daughter Unit.

The sun was still behind the clouds and it really helped keep it cooler, but it was still really muggy. BLEH!

20140728-081732-29852940.jpg

However, once we got started, you can’t really beat the view we had along the course.

20140728-081732-29852507.jpg

20140728-120146-43306388.jpg

I even took a mid way SELFIE!

HALF - WAY SELFIE!
HALF – WAY SELFIE!

I think considering where I am in my Get Healthy Project (sort of in a pause / reboot mode) I did fairly well. I kept my GPS Tracker on so I could keep track of when I started to slow down and force myself to speed back up. ( I use MotionX-GPS on my iPhone ).

I hit up the water stations, grabbing two cups, one for me to drink and one for my head and every hose and squirt gun on the course, but managed to stay cool enough. If it wasn’t for those I know at mile 3 I would have had to hit up First Aid / Emergency Services. Thank you people along the route for those!

When we rounded the corner and the Capitola Wharf came into view ….

20140728-114436-42276952.jpg

 

20140728-114437-42277329.jpg

I was so excited because while my feet hurt and I knew I was going to have a couple of really bad blisters (Note to self, you should have worn your walking shoes!), I was feeling fine! I was hot and a little over heated, but my legs weren’t hurting, my lungs weren’t crying for an inhaler … I felt GREAT actually.

I even made sure to run across the finish line, just as I had promised myself I would do for every race I did.

20140728-081626-29786750.jpg

 

I FINSIHED! Plus I stayed on pace for the other races I’ve done which is just under a 15 minute mile! Yes, I know for some of you, that may not seem like much, but I’m THRILLED with it!

20140728-081731-29851392.jpg

20140728-115904-43144210.jpg
My iPhone tracker’s time, haven’t checked the website to see what the ChronoTracker logged me at. My fit bit logged almost 16,000 steps for the race.

 

Then of course, I had to hunt up the family members that had darted off ahead. The daughter unit and her GrandPop took off like bats out of hell and finished in about 1.5 hours (walking).

We then decided to stop and eat at Zelda’s on the beach before heading up the hill to the house which was so so … OH so YUMMY!

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Over all, I’m thrilled!!!

20140728-081626-29786309.jpg

All my worrying was for not I guess, but I did learn that my biggest secret to finishing the races, that I want to do more and more often, will be keeping cool. I don’t sweat like normal people do so it’s very difficult for me to keep cool in the heat.

So how am I feeling today? Actually, GREAT! With the exception of a sunburn (because I ended up washing off the sunscreen) and a blister the size of South America on my foot….

20140728-081625-29785101.jpg

I feel great!

 

. I encourage anyone to do these if you are on a weight loss journey of your own. Start out with a 3K or a 5K. This one was a 6 mile ( so that comes out to what about 11K? ) and the San Jose Rock N’ Roll I’m doing in October is a 10K ( 5 miles ). They give you something to look forward to in order to hopefully, help you keep pushing on to prepare for them.

One thing to keep in mind, is that even if you can only walk say 3 miles ( which I think is just about a 5K ), you could do a 10K, unless there are other health things. Don’t push yourself into injury or anything, but my point is that when I did the 10K last year in San Jose, I could only walk 3 miles, and I would come home and collapse! However, I was able to do the full 5 miles. There is adrenaline and the distractions to keep you going.  [ Insert health concern disclaimers here. You know the ones they give for every medication advertisement, may cause blindness, anal leakage, happiness, death, rush of adrenaline, etc., including the fact I’m not a licensed trainer or a health care professional. Be smart with your decisions. ]

I had so much fun. I truly can’t wait to do it again next year. However, I will be making sure to sign up with the locals at midnight again. This year the race sold out 16000 bibs in 9 hours. 9 HOURS!