Food continues to be really hard. I’m struggling the last couple of weeks. I admit that.
Last week I went on a business trip, and because food is hard, I went by myself. I didn’t want the temptations of what other people were eating and traveling for work has historically been candy bars and fast food.
This time I packed all my own food, which made things easier, but it was still so hard not to run through the drive-thru of Carl’s Jr for a Western Bacon Cheeseburger, or get the chocolate cake at the Mobile Resturant, or drive through the Wendy’s for a frosty or any other fast food for a shake or ice cream because it was hot.
These are HABITS that hard to break. Weight loss surgery does a lot of things for us physically to help with the weight loss. One thing it doesn’t do is fix the food addiction or the habits that you have. The point is that over the next year (or two) you develop new habits for a healthier lifestyle. It’s a massive and strict tool, but if your new tummy doesn’t give you issues with what you eat, it’s so easy to still eat those bad things. The tool is great, and I would do this all over again, no questions asked, but the habits are oh so hard to break.
While on the road, I did had to “suffer” and go through Yosemite. I know rough right. I stopped at Tuolumne Meadows, which is one of my favorite places. There is just something super relaxing about the wide open area surrounded by mountains.
This is only a quarter of the meadow, but man it’s beautiful. On this journey, I have a goal of hiking the loop around the meadow, which isn’t a small feat considering that you’re at 8,600 feet. I want to try and do it next summer, but we will see how travel goes.
Yosemite is a beautiful place. I also stopped further up the road at the creek and sat by it for a few minutes reflecting on where I have been and how far I’ve come so far in this journey. I realize it’s only 8 weeks, but so much has changed. I’m trying to change my mindset and get used to working out on a more regular basis.
Habits and head hunger are hard though. When researching all of this, you hear a lot about head hunger. I define this as when you think you should be hungry, but when you listen to your stomach, you aren’t really. I think this ties in greatly with habits. For instance, just over the weekend I was sitting at the computer playing my computer game and I kept finding myself walking to the fridge because I thought I needed to be snacking on something while playing. I wasn’t hungry, I was just following YEARS of habits that say that because I’m sitting in front of the computer, or sitting watching TV, or in the car traveling, I should be eating, and not necessarily carrot sticks. Like I said, habits. They are hard to break.
I really think that sums up what a lot of this is. Breaking Old Habits. Not an easy thing when I’ve been doing it for 20 or 30 plus years. Many will tell you this is the easy way out. Honey, it is anything BUT. This is by far one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life.
So now onto “Weighty Matters”.
When I was on my business trip, I walked by a mirror and went… okay. I see some of the physical changes. I’m happy about this …
I can actually see it there, but it isn’t showing on the scale. It’s is broken. I’m convinced. It’s stuck. I’m still where I was two weeks ago. What the hell.
Not to mention that I’ve been running the last two weeks and was really excited because I really thought I’d be able to run for exercise. Unfortunately, I’m not sure that is going to be an option. My back decided to blow out on me on Tuesday. In a matter of SECONDS. I usually can feel it coming, and be able to do some things to stave it off. NOPE. Not this time. Within 30 seconds, it went from oh… to OH $#^@!
I’m exploring other fitness options and am going to see about swimming a couple days a week starting next week, but we will see. I’m really bummed out and I’m not in a good mental space because of it (there are other factors contributing to that negative space as well, but I digress).
I just have to keep pushing forward, but I am going to get back to the basics with food, and find a way to up some workouts. I mean, it isn’t like I can eat less.
So while this week was an exceptional downer, I am going to TRY to keep my head up. This is a new week, and I can do this. I just gotta figure out how to break the cycle.