My WILL and DRIVE is stronger than my DOUBT.
That is motto I’m going to use in the coming months.
I want to share my stories with the world. I want people to read them, and yet, I have enough doubt to sink a ship. There have been plenty of times I just cry because even with as much as I want people to read my stories (The Five Angels particularly), I doubt I’m good enough. So I’ve decided that I my will and drive WILL be stronger than my doubt. The doubt will always be there, but it will be insignificant to the want and “need” that I have to see others reading my books.
/stomps foot, crosses arms and raises head in pride.
I have worked on tweaking my query letter and after having recently received some feedback on it, tweaked it even more. Well now, I am ready to start sending it out for The Five Angels again.
Ok, well not completely. See I’ve realized something about The Five Angels manuscript. The first chapter(s), which of course is the portion that gets sent with my query letter (when requested), is the WEAKEST part of the manuscript. Even as I read the first chapter, the first couple of pages especially, I cringe at the poor writing. I want to put a disclaimer at the end of the query that if they just get past the first couple of chapters they will LOVE my book, but then I laugh at myself because if the Agent can’t get past the first PAGE, how are they going to get past the first chapter(s). Even more importantly, if the Agent can’t get past that part, then how is a reader going to?
I have lost count how many times I have tried to re-write those parts. I’m not giving up, I’m just “ranting” I guess. I just need to come at the “beginning of the story” from a different way. The Five Angels jumps into action right away, with very little introduction, and it has been suggested that I ease into it a little bit, but I’ve struggled with all the re-writes where I have done that. It just doesn’t seem right. I feel the story needs to jump pretty quickly because there is some “downtime” once Megan and CJ get to Nalrin (It’s hard to explain this without making it sound like a slow book, because it’s not). Plus the book is 88,000 words already, and while technically I know that I could push to 100,000 since it is a fantasy, I also know that as a debut author, I’m going to put some people off with that large of a word count and I don’t want to get too wordy either.
I’ll figure out a way to bring an Agent and the reader in, while keeping with the story. It’s there, I just have to push through and find it. After all …