Conquering Fear

Conquering Fear.

There are things in this world that just scare us. I have many fears. While reading Divergent I pictured myself going through the Fear Landscape and shuttered at the thought. I truly felt for Tobias (Four) and his fear of heights. I’m terrified of them. I know where the fear comes from. It’s the fear of falling or being crushed by a building falling on top of me, which comes from earthquakes. I live in California. Earthquakes are a way of life and yes buildings sometimes fall if the quake is big enough. Do they disrupt my life. No. I haven’t actually felt an earthquake in YEARS AND YEARS and I live just a few miles from the San Andrea’s fault! A MAJOR FAULT LINE!

Anyways, I sort of went on a tangent there. One of my other fears is of needles. I tend to pass out when I have to have blood drawn. I also don’t do well with pain. Seriously. I’m a HUGE WIMP!

Add those two things together add up to the last thing I would ever be able to do: Get a tattoo. I love tattoos. I think they can be beautiful and classy. I also feel they shouldn’t be on hands and never, ever, ever on the neck or face. This is purely for business and professional reasons. You should be able to easily hide said tattoo with your business attire. (Obviously, there are industries where having a tattoo showing wouldn’t matter.) That being said, if it were not for the pain or the needles I would probably have gotten many tattoo’s over the years.

Yes. I decided to conquer my fear and get a tattoo. But what to get?

I have said for years I would get the Deathly Hallows symbol. Pay homage to my love of reading and writing.

Deathly Hallows

The husband unit laughed at this one. He asked what I would tell the my grandchildren when they asked what it was and I looked at him and said, “MY GRANDCHILDREN WILL KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT IS! They will say, Grammy, that is from your favorite book series Harry Potter right?” He and the daughter unit looked at each other and then shook their head in agreement.

I also saw this one and loved it.


I love dragonflies and the brush stroke look on this is amazing!

I also thought about this one but in black. For Wall-E, Daisy, Killer, Dutchess, Meatball, Cherrio and all the other animals I’ve lost over the years.



But then I saw this.


My love for the beach is just part of who I am. We just bought a house near the beach, a dream we never thought we would be able to fulfill. My writing always has some element of the beach in it. It’s my place to relax and decompress. Watching the waves, the sand between my toes. Yes. This is it. Forever at the Beach.

So that’s what I did. I made the decision to conquer my fear and just do it. My husband humored me and said ok honey. He was at work when I went to do it so demanded video of me screaming and writhing in pain. I had my daughter, her friend ( I double checked with her parents first to make sure they were ok with her going with me.) and my sister in law with me. Only one person was allowed in the room and so I had the daughter unit video it ( The video is below, but fair warning it’s a bit odd. I forgot to tell her to start landscape and stay landscape while taking it. ) from the doorway.

I got my first tattoo and have named it … Forever at the Beach.



I love it!

I also have to say it didn’t hurt at all. Stung a little, but was NO big deal. Where he went over the bone area, well that stung a bit more, but the overall feeling was like cat scratches or someone taking a hot match and rubbing it against your skin. I watched lot of videos and imagined the pain would be so much more than it would be. Plus, I don’t know if it was just may tattoo artist, but his machine was super quite. The ones in videos were nagging and I think they make it much more psychological than it needs to be. I couldn’t hear his machine at all.

I conquered a fear this last weekend.

What fear do you think you could conquer?




(Tattoo was done by Jessie Rochin at Coast to Coast Ink in Santa Cruz, California. He listened to all my concerns, questions, gave suggestions, and was very light handed. I recommend him if you are ever in the area.)

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