(The below is a work of fiction based off of the Word Press: Daily Prompt from Saturday (12/28/13), which you can find here. I had every intention of posting this earlier. It just didn’t happen. I could only wish that such a thing would happen. Heck I’d take a million, just be able to put some money away for the daughter unit’s education and buy a house. Yes, where we live, buying a home for $600,000 is a piece of cake. )
Voice: Yes, Is this Mrs. Ringer?
Me: It is. What can I do for you?
Voice: This is Vanessa from the City of Capitola. I would like to congratulate you on winning the New Resident Lottery.
Me: Excuse Me?
Voice: This is Vanessa from the City of Capitola.
Me: Yes I heard that part. What else did you say?
Voice: I would like to congratulate you on winning the New Resident Lottery.
Me: Yea. Ok. Who is this? Ariel? Linda? Marianne? Barb? Corinna?
Voice: (laughter) Mrs. Ringer. I assure you this is not a joke. You and your husband have recently moved to Capitola, is that correct?
Me: Ok Fine! I’ll play along. Yes. We moved in at the beginning of the summer.
Voice aka “Vanessa”: Well in July all residents who moved into the City were entered into a pool to win 1 Billion dollars which was left by an Estate of a very wealthy gentleman. We are following the wishes of his Trust. All Taxes are paid by the Estate. You will not have to pay one dime. You will be receiving 1 Billion Dollars free and clear. Simply complete your taxes come April, and submit the bill to the Estate and the Estate will pay those amounts due for you.
Me: Yea. Sure. Ok. Come on over to the house, and give me the paperwork. /hangs up.
2 hours later there is a knock on the door.
“Mrs. Ringer. I’m Vanessa from the City, we spoke earlier on the phone? This is John. He is the Trustee of the Estate and we have all the paperwork and bank documents for you. ” Vanessa says.
“Ok, seriously, what are you playing at? How did you get this address?” I ask trying not to get mad.
“I can assure you this seems like a hoax Mrs. Ringer, but it is not. If you would accompany us to the bank, we can finalize all the documentation and the money will be yours by the days end. ” John says, sensing my hesitation. “You can follow us in your own vehicle if you wish.”
“This is a joke right? Where are the cameras? Where is Ariel jumping out at me screaming GOTCHA? or any of my other friends?”
Vanessa smiles. “Ms. Ringer, this is not a joke. Would your friends really pull this elaborate of a joke on you?”
“You don’t know my friends do you? I can assure YOU that some of my friends would for sure do this. It’s ALEX isn’t it!” I start looking around the house for him. “Ok, where is he? Alex is EXACTLY the type of person to pull this kind of stunt. Where is my phone?”
“Vanessa” and “John” look at each other and smile. I find my phone and punch in Alex’s cellphone number. I listen carefully to see if I can hear it ring here, when he answers it.
“Hey Babe. Whatcha calling for? Not like you to call me, you call the wife.”
“Don’t you HEY BABE me. What are you playing at? This is one extravagant joke you’ve done here.”
“WOAH! What are you talking about?” He asked.
“I have a Vanessa and John here who say that I’ve won some free cash. You can give up the ruse now mister.” I say laughing into the phone.
“No seriously Kisy Monster. I don’t know what your talking about.” He says. And it’s the way he says it that I realize he really doesn’t know anything about it. “Sounds like a great joke though. When you find out who did play it off, let me know. I wish to congratulate them. Though I am flattered that you would think I would do such a thing.”
I hang up the phone and call everyone else I think would have done this. Between every call “Vanessa” and “John” try to tell me it isn’t a joke, and that the money is mine. All I have to do is sign the documents at the bank.
Finally, I decide to play along and follow them to the bank. To my shock, the banker agrees to go ahead and transfer the funds into a new account at a separate bank.
24 hours later …. I check the balance, and there sits 1 Billion dollars.
After convincing the husband unit of the situation, setting up a Trust ( or two or three ) with provisions for the money, education and care of the daughter unit, and letting the Estate who gifted us with the money, pay all the taxes, then continuing to let it sit there for 2 more years, just to make sure that it won’t just disappear and they will still let us keep the cash, we finally start spending some of the money.
So what do you do with a billion dollars? Whatever in the hell I want. Though, I couldn’t keep all of it for myself. There are those around me who would have to share in that wealth. The thing is who do I decide to give it to? Well only those who have TRUELY stuck by me and know me.
Well here is a list of things that happen.
1. Money is put aside for the care and education of the daughter unit.
2. My Mother receives a very large sum.
3. My In – Laws receive a very large sum.
4. My Grandfather, the husband unit’s immediate family also receive a portion.
5. I buy a house for my brother and give him enough to pay off his debt and live a little more comfy.
6. I pay off the home loans of those who have always been there for me, plus a fair amount to allow them to live a little more comfortably.
7. The Husband Unit and I buy a home for ourselves.
8. I would go back to school and get my degree in English Lit.
9. The husband unit and I travel. We have always wanted to.
10. Make a few (and I mean very few ) donations. ( This would include charities, other family members, friends, etc. that we would deem fit to receive such a gift. )
There would be a few FUN purchases as well. My husband would probably buy his Camaro and I would buy my Mustang. Also, I would probably see season tickets to the San Francisco 49ers game in the mix too. Well if we are “billionares” then we can afford those insane ticket prices.
In the end, I very well may change my name just to be able to go into hiding. Having that much money attracts so much attention and people asking for handouts, that I would hide. I would find a way to travel, live, and do what I want under a new name.
What would that new name be? I don’t know… Symatha? Kisy? Megan? Briliana? Well, if I told you, how could I hide?
One thing to keep in mind though is that having that much money doesn’t always make you happy. I wouldn’t want to change who I am at my core. That would be the hardest thing of all.