Yes today is weigh day and before I even stood on that scale I was frightened. See, I need to find some balance.
I’m going to stray a bit here, but stay with me ok.
I have what most would call, an addictive personality. Whether it be gaming, weight loss, writing, scrapbooking, sewing, etc., I become totally consumed by whatever the THING is, that I usually go a bit berserk over it and usually burn out after a couple of months.
This is where I’m really proud of myself. I haven’t burned out on the importance of my Get Healthy Project. I came into this journey with a new perspective. It wasn’t JUST about weight loss. As I stated before, this has to be more than just the physical changes, but also the mental changes.
I’m participating on Facebook with the masses of friends and family who are doing their 30 days of thanks. Now I’m calling mine 30 Days of Thanks – Kim Style, because well, some of the things I’m thankful for are not worded the same as others. Well yesterday was a day where I posted I am thankful for my increased health. That post read…
“I know I’m not totally healthy yet, and I still have a long ways to go, but when I look at how I was a year ago, pushing 300 pounds, and now I’m knocking on the door to 200 just 10 months later? I find myself very proud. In that, I see where my asthma doesn’t bother me so much, I don’t have as bad of problems that I used to with my knees, and I am able to do 8K and 5K’s with friends. The Kim that was here a year ago, would NOT have been able to do that.”
And its still true. I own all those words.
So if I’m still “succeeding” in my Get Healthy Project then why do I still need to find balance? Well it ties in with my addictive personality. This NaNoWriMo has consumed me. I’m totally obsessed with it, as evidenced by yesterdays post found here: What day is it? 7?
It did affect what I did this week. Because I’m totally consumed with “The Ash’bani” ( my current working title ), I’m not doing my workouts like I should. I’ve been doing my daily challenges that I do every day, but once I’m home, I head to my hiddy hole and write. And I write for hours and hours and hours.
Yes, the daughter unit got to dance, yes, I went to work, and YES – Wall-E is getting his walks, but they were short ones, or I’d ask the kid to just run him around the park a couple times, but the house is still a mess, and they were SHORT walks. Like around a couple blocks so he would think he got a walk and I could get back to writing kind of SHORT! Last night I did make a point of going on a longer walk ( about 2.5 miles ), and I could feel how much my body was fighting it. It had “lost something” over the week. I knew then, that my obsession was getting in the way of something that is JUST as important to me. The Get Healthy Project.
Then I thought about how I ate over the week, and with the migraine issue and the back spasms earlier in the week, while it wasn’t HORRIBLE, they certainly were not up to par. Note to self: Never buy Drumstick ice creams again. I just can NOT have those things in my house. I had 4 out of the 8, the other 4 being split with the husband unit and daughter unit. BAD KIM! BAD!
/smacks herself with a rolled up newspaper.
So before I stood on the scale this morning, I knew, that no matter what it said, I had to resolve myself to finding that balance again this week. Then, I took a brave step onto what I call the A-Hole of the house and held my breath.
[ insert a wheel spinning sound here ]
I released my breath and thought: Well GRRR, but ok. I was up a pound, but then the more I thought about it, and really the fact it was ONLY 1 lb, was a blessing. I will take it. I earned it.
So here is to a week of finding balance. I will get my full walks in, I will eat better, and I will keep kicking butt in word count.
Also, this, every day: