Cancer, Death, and My Father – Part 1

I will not keep you long, as I will keep this short. However, first, I want to say to any of my family, if this is too painful or “close to home” to read, I understand. I do not expect you to read these segments.

/Deep Breath

So since my cousin passed away, I have really been fighting with my own grief, not only of my cousin,  but also the return of grief of losing my father. Mortality is something we all come to face at one time or another. For some, it just comes to soon.

Since I decided to start this blog, I knew, at some point, I would tell MY Story of my Father’s death. My view of it, not so much my Mom’s story, or my brothers story, or my grandfathers story, or even my Dad’s story, though in some ways it is all of ours. It’s how I saw things, things I’ve CHOSEN to remember, or CHOSEN to see, in order to cope with the situation at hand.

I’ve tried to write it numerous times only to stop because I couldn’t see the screen through my own tears. I will be breaking it up in sections, because I don’t know how to sit here and tell it from start to finish.

I feel compelled to share my story. Why? I really don’t know. Maybe it is my own way of being able to work through the pain. There is also the fact that every day, even though he has been gone for 2 1/2 years, I miss the sound of his voice, though suspect THAT will never go away.

I’m not sure really how to tell this story, but I will tell stories of my childhood, my memories of him, of how I found out about his cancer, how I dealt with it, things I’m grateful for, and everything else under the sun. I’ll start at the beginning, ie: diagnosis, but in the next part because, well I’m getting “blurred vision” again.

PS: Guys… don’t put off your yearly exams. They are important!

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