Ummm… I’m fat, not deaf!
So today has had its ups and down already.
The up… I’m feeling pretty spunky today. Already did a bunch of errands, took the “Prince Wall-E Magnifico Puppino” for his morning stroll and able to get a little gaming time in before I cut myself off and get to the house work today.
The down. URG!!! People are so rude and inconsiderate at times! One of said errands today was to go to the grocery store and obtain some Teriyaki for the chicken to marinate in for dinner because apparently I’m an bobo and ASS-U-MED we already had some. Not the point of this conversation but anyways.
So I’m looking at the different marinades and there were two girls and a man down the isle at me and I could see in my peripheral vision them pointing at me and whispering . So I look down making sure that I didn’t have toilet paper stuck to my shoe or something, because yes that happens, nothing. Oh well. I hear a couple words, fat, lazy, and a few other vile things I won’t repeat as they continue to point at me and look as if I were some mutant from Futurama. So I go about my business and as they walk by the older of the two girls says with her hand firmly on her hip, “Move it fatso! Make way for someone who actually gives a shit about themselves.”
Yes… loud and clear. No whispering, no niceties, NOTHING! I was shell shocked. I could not believe it. However, since I am feeling spunky today, I did what I really SHOULDN’T have done since we just moved here at the beginning of summer, I … fought… back.
Conversation went something like this…
Me: Excuse me?
Her: You heard me. You’re taking up two isles fatty.
Me: Excuse me?
Me: Nope. You can go around.
Her friend whispers: around the block in order to get around you.
Me: WOW! You guys really have image problems. Do you need glasses? Contacts maybe?
Her: Image problems? We are perfect. (she waives her hand up and down her body like it’s the body of a deity.) You’re the one who has problems. Are you should you should even be eating anymore? (her friend laughs)
— At this point, I seriously can’t believe the conversation we are having. I mean seriously! The guy is just standing there, puffing up his muscles, like he is something on the end of a stick, and I’m really picking a fight with strangers? I know my mom fell off a horse when she was pregnant with me*, but just how brain damaged am I to do this! Like I said though, I was feeling spunky. —-
Me: If perfect means, having bones sticking out, knobby shoulders, knobby knees, ratty, over processed hair, and wearing 50lbs of make-up to cover up whatever is going on under there, then you know what, I’ll take fat over looking anorexic any day of the week. Seriously, you’re the one with image problems. I’m losing weight, 60lbs so far, and I’m getting healthier by the day. Sorry you feel so bad for yourself, that you feel the need to put others down. ( I moved a little closer to the side of the isle and continued. ) I’ll let you be on your glorious day.
It was at this point, I notice there are 2 store workers standing behind them at the end of the isle. One of them, I kid you not, had her jaw totally slack. It was one of those moments where I wish I had that kind of bravery ( or stupidity, because let’s face it, it wasn’t the SMARTEST thing I’ve ever done in my life ) when I was heavier.
I snapped. I know it. It was stupid, vile, and contradictory to everything I have told myself.
I let my spunkiness rule. I just couldn’t let her win. Though did I really win, if I feel like I picked a fight with someone? Wouldn’t it have been easier just to have let her make her vile, vicious comments and continue on with her perceived life?
I have lost count how many times I have been at a store looking at clothes, food, shoes, whatever, and hear comments about my weight. I should be used to it by now right?
Why am I telling you all of this? Well first, probably because I needed to share it in order to help fully process the stupidity of my actions.
Second, to remind you ( and myself ) that what “Beautiful” is in today’s society, isn’t necessarily healthy. These people, obviously have bought in, hook, line and sinker, into what magazines, TV and the news tell us is healthy.
I stand by my words at the grocery store. If THAT was the image of perfection, I will take my fat and rolly polly on down the street.
Stay true to yourself.
Much Love to everyone!
**Note: I am not saying that she may have been that overly thin ( in my opinion) due to physical medical disorders, sickness or the like. If that is the case, then I truly hope that she can find herself in her feelings to be able to process whatever it is she is going through in order not to lash out at other people. That being said, she gave the impression, façade, and appearance, that she had worked hard to have the body she called perfect. In my opinion, if she had just 5 or 10 pounds on her, she would have been drop dead beautiful. A total knock out.
* Let me clarify the Mom falling off the horse with me thing ok. My parents had been attempting to get pregnant for a while and they weren’t having luck. So Mom gave up-ish, and one day when she was riding she fell off. My Dad was furious!!! “Sam ( his nickname for her ), YOU COULD BE PREGNANT!” Of course, my Mom told him not to be silly. She wasn’t pregnant. As it turned out she was. So I was only a pile of GOO at this point, but it’s the running joke that everything that is “wrong” with me is because Mom fell off a horse when she was pregnant with me. 🙂