Conquering Fear

Conquering Fear

Conquering Fear.

There are things in this world that just scare us. I have many fears. While reading Divergent I pictured myself going through the Fear Landscape and shuttered at the thought. I truly felt for Tobias (Four) and his fear of heights. I’m terrified of them. I know where the fear comes from. It’s the fear of falling or being crushed by a building falling on top of me, which comes from earthquakes. I live in California. Earthquakes are a way of life and yes buildings sometimes fall if the quake is big enough. Do they disrupt my life. No. I haven’t actually felt an earthquake in YEARS AND YEARS and I live just a few miles from the San Andrea’s fault! A MAJOR FAULT LINE!

Anyways, I sort of went on a tangent there. One of my other fears is of needles. I tend to pass out when I have to have blood drawn. I also don’t do well with pain. Seriously. I’m a HUGE WIMP!

Add those two things together add up to the last thing I would ever be able to do: Get a tattoo. I love tattoos. I think they can be beautiful and classy. I also feel they shouldn’t be on hands and never, ever, ever on the neck or face. This is purely for business and professional reasons. You should be able to easily hide said tattoo with your business attire. (Obviously, there are industries where having a tattoo showing wouldn’t matter.) That being said, if it were not for the pain or the needles I would probably have gotten many tattoo’s over the years.

Yes. I decided to conquer my fear and get a tattoo. But what to get?

I have said for years I would get the Deathly Hallows symbol. Pay homage to my love of reading and writing.

Deathly Hallows

The husband unit laughed at this one. He asked what I would tell the my grandchildren when they asked what it was and I looked at him and said, “MY GRANDCHILDREN WILL KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT IS! They will say, Grammy, that is from your favorite book series Harry Potter right?” He and the daughter unit looked at each other and then shook their head in agreement.

I also saw this one and loved it.


I love dragonflies and the brush stroke look on this is amazing!

I also thought about this one but in black. For Wall-E, Daisy, Killer, Dutchess, Meatball, Cherrio and all the other animals I’ve lost over the years.



But then I saw this.


My love for the beach is just part of who I am. We just bought a house near the beach, a dream we never thought we would be able to fulfill. My writing always has some element of the beach in it. It’s my place to relax and decompress. Watching the waves, the sand between my toes. Yes. This is it. Forever at the Beach.

So that’s what I did. I made the decision to conquer my fear and just do it. My husband humored me and said ok honey. He was at work when I went to do it so demanded video of me screaming and writhing in pain. I had my daughter, her friend ( I double checked with her parents first to make sure they were ok with her going with me.) and my sister in law with me. Only one person was allowed in the room and so I had the daughter unit video it ( The video is below, but fair warning it’s a bit odd. I forgot to tell her to start landscape and stay landscape while taking it. ) from the doorway.

I got my first tattoo and have named it … Forever at the Beach.



I love it!

I also have to say it didn’t hurt at all. Stung a little, but was NO big deal. Where he went over the bone area, well that stung a bit more, but the overall feeling was like cat scratches or someone taking a hot match and rubbing it against your skin. I watched lot of videos and imagined the pain would be so much more than it would be. Plus, I don’t know if it was just may tattoo artist, but his machine was super quite. The ones in videos were nagging and I think they make it much more psychological than it needs to be. I couldn’t hear his machine at all.

I conquered a fear this last weekend.

What fear do you think you could conquer?




(Tattoo was done by Jessie Rochin at Coast to Coast Ink in Santa Cruz, California. He listened to all my concerns, questions, gave suggestions, and was very light handed. I recommend him if you are ever in the area.)

My Weighty Story: Answers

My Weighty Story: Answers

So I went back to the doctor yesterday and was given answers to things that were going wrong. And there were so many things going wrong.

I stepped on the scale and just shook my head. I had gained 27 pounds back. It’s sad. It’s also of my own doing I thought to myself. The last couple of months I haven’t been concentrating on my weight loss journey. I’ve eaten pretty much what I want (including a whole 2.5 pound of candy corn in one week. Yes. I ate the whole damn bag. It was soo yummy!) and walking just wasn’t high on the priority list. Sure, “the Devil” and I had had a few rounds of fun, but it wasn’t anything serious.

I knew why. I’ve been fighting my own depression. DUH! Which was why I was back at the doctor. I was following up on some blood work and to see how I was doing.

So I went in, talked to the nurse, told her I was feeling much better. I was happier, but I was still fighting being tired all the time. Yes, I know that part of that is my diet and the fact I’m not exercising like I should, but it’s more than that. It’s like I can’t get enough sleep. I’ll sleep 8-10 hours but still wake up exhausted and never really wake up all day. She made notes, and then said the doc would be in in just a few minutes.

There I sat. /insert jeopardy music

Doc comes in we go over a few things then starts asking me a bunch of questions.

When do you take your meds? With breakfast every morning.

Any side effects to the new prescription? A little nausea when I forget to eat something with it. As long as I eat, I’m alright.

And so on, and So on. Then he looks at my blood work results.

Feeling tired? YES!

Lethargic? YES!

Doc: Hum… I see you gained 10 pounds since you were here 3 weeks ago .

Me: I gulped. “That’s crazy!” I say quietly a little shocked.  Again. My own fault.

Doc: Well I have an answer to WHY.

Me: Well I haven’t been eating right at ALL and exercise hasn’t exactly been high on my list.

Doc: Well your thyroid is completely out of whack.

Me: Really?

Doc: Yup. I like to have the figure down around a 1 or 2 with people with hypothyroidism. Yours is at a 8.4. That would account for at least some of the weight gain and why you’ve felt so tired lately.

Me: And it would also affect why I wasn’t able to fight off the depression myself.

Doc: Most Definitely. It is a very common link between the two conditions.

Then we proceeded to come up with a plan, medication changes, etc.

Yes, some of the weight problems are of my own doing and now that we are messing with the medications and I’m feeling better, I know that I can get back on track.

So I hereby declare:

No more bags of candy corn and M&M’s.

No more fast food. (been relying on it too much lately.)

More exercise.

Regular walks.

Healthier food choices.

Getting back on track. Period.

Logging my food in My Fitness Pal.

Wearing my Fitbit every day.

Walking a minimum of 8,000 steps per day.

It is time to get back to business. In a very serious way. My clothes were feeling way too small and I knew it was bad, but DAMN! I didn’t realize I had gained that much weight back. YES! It’s totally my own fault. Was my thyroid part of it, sure, but all the bad choices I had made certainly didn’t help it at all. It just made matters worse.

The Get Healthy Project has been renewed (again)!



The One Lovely Blog Award

The One Lovely Blog Award

Excuse me while I spin in my chair excitedly!!!

/squeeee’s heard as Kim spins in chair

Ok. Now that that is done. I’VE BEEN AWARDED AN AWARD!!!!

Thank you Arran Bhansal at for nominating me for the ‘One Lovely Blog’ Award.

The rules of this award:

  1. You must thank the person who nominated you and include a link to their blog.
  2. You must list the rules and display the award.
  3. You must add 7 facts about yourself.
  4. You must nominate other bloggers and comment on one of their posts to let them know they have been nominated.
  5. You must display the award logo and follow the blogger who nominated you.

So Item number 1: . Arran Bhansal ( Thank you again! Your insight and support is very much appreciated.

Item number 2:

List them: Well I’ve done that above.


Item Number 3: 7 Facts about myself.

1. My music tastes are all over the place.

2. I used to roller skate competitively.

3. I had horses growing up and miss riding.

4. I’m horrible at keeping in touch with old friends. If it were not for Facebook, I would just disappear into my own little world.

5. My favorite place to go to relax is the beach. Give me the beach and the sound of the waves, and I’m good.

6. My daughter and husband were the best things to ever happen to me. ( I killed the other Kimberly and you will NEVER EVER find the body )

7. I have found I am stronger than I ever thought. It is true that you don’t know how strong you are until you HAVE to be.

Item Number 4: NOMINATIONS!!!!

  1. Mishka Jenkins – ( Yes I know Arran nominated you too, but tough! )
  2. Pieterk515 –
  3. Danielle –
  4. Spunkychunk –
  5. Bongo – ( Wall-E nominated Bongo. Said something about us dogs gotta stick together )
  6. Robert Shaf –
  7. Eily Nash – ( Wall-E nominated for Angel’s sake, I nominated for Eily XOXO )
  8. Jodie Llewellyn –
  9. Lo – My Journey to Qualify for the Boston Marathon – .
  10. Lysa Taylor –.
  11. Annimation Floe –
  12. The Incredible Shrinking Momma –

Item Number 5:

Display the award and follow the blogger who nominated me. Well considering I already follow Arran, that is easy pezy. Now for the award pic.


Loverly Blog Award

Lots of love and thank you again Arran!

Why I live where I do.

I live in one of the most beautiful places on earth. Monterey Bay, California. It’s located about an hour and a half south of San Francisco, depending on where on the bay you are going.

Buying a house is not a cheap endeavor and in fact most can’t afford to ever buy a house here. The median price of a home here for a 2 bedroom 2 bath home with very little yard is about $500,000 to $700,000.

Total CRAZYNESS right? There are so many other places in the world that you can buy a home for $150-200,000 and have over an acre of land, and have much more square footage than you would here.

Well I agree, it’s stupid and crazy. However, the below pictures are why we live here.

The below pictures and video were taken at Capitola Beach (Capitola Village) on September 18th, 2014 at high tide, in the evening. Yes, it’s foggy, but it usually is during the evening in the summer. Our best weather is usually in the spring and fall.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.



We also live in a micro climate that keeps our temperature between 50-85 year round during the day. We don’t have to uncover our cars in the morning to go to work during the winter, we don’t have to deal with 100+ degree heat during the summer, and we get to do this in the evenings. Go down to the beach after all the crowds have left, relax and feel the sand between our toes. I pull so much inspiration for my writing at the beach.

It may not be for everyone and it may cost a fortune to live here, but this is paradise!

Editing: An Authors joy and dread

Editing: An Authors joy and dread

When you’re an author there is one thing that always gives you a sense of joy and  dread.


I saw this over the weekend.

What does it mean?

It means I finished the 1st of many rounds of editing and re-writes for Book 2 of The Five Angels Trilogy which officially has a title now. The Ash’bani.

Ash'Bani Title

I’ve increased the word count from it’s initial 79,833 words to 86,698.

So why does this this give me a sense of joy and dread?

Joy because I know I’m making huge progress on the series, and dread because I know there is still lots of editing that needs to be done. However, there is much more joy than dread . When you sit there and expand a scene that gives you better insight to a character, or a better visual of what the character is going through… /sigh there is something rewarding and therapeutic to it.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the initial drafting process. The process of putting down those initial descriptions, actions, characters, interactions, the creating of a world… it’s magical.

I’m seriously considering working on Book 3 (Helena) during NaNo in November, but we will see how things go with Agent Queries, and editing of Book 2. I have a rough outline for Book 3, but there are some things that I’m struggling with just due to logistics. I’ve in some ways written myself into a corner regarding transportation, and I don’t want to resort to stereotypes. So while I continue to mull around ways around some of the barrier’s I’ve created, I’ll continue editing.

Do you love or hate editing? or do you just consider it a necessary evil?


Wall-E Tails: Someplace new with great smells

Wall-E Tails: Someplace new with great smells

Mommy hasn’t been feeling well lately, so it’s been hard to get her to take me on new adventures. Even harder for me to get her to tell you about some of them that she does take me on.

One day she took me in the car with her and we went some where new! There were beachy smells coming in from the window and I asked her to please tell me where we were going.



She wouldn’t tell me. No matter how much I woofed and woofed. She just made me sit back there in the back seat smelling all the smells coming in. It smelled like the beach, but when we got there. It wasn’t the beach.



I hadn’t been there before and it had all kinds of great smells!

There were crabs in the brush, birds to chase ( though I stayed close to Mom, I wouldn’t want her to get losted), and then we walked down a path.



There was a sign for me to stay out of one of the bushes. She said it would make us all itchy and stuff.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

There was even long scary bridge for me to walk over.


I barely hesitated though because there were so many neat things to see and smell.  Mom said let’s go and off I went. Mandy would be so proud of me. Mommy sure was.


Well until the next adventure.


Hugs and Licks. Hopefully it won’t be so long before I can tell you about another adventure.


PS: Today is my Daddy’s birthday, I wonder what I can do for him?